Thursday, October 16, 2008

I would like to introduce our 2008 running mate

Dude, I sold out a long time ago (earlier today).  Why do you think I selected Rick James as our blog's running mate?  We have to appeal to everyone.  And if that means pumping up our neat, middle-class, suburban writing space to attract more diverse peoples, then so be it.

In this time of Obamarama and Palinpalooza, diversity issues have been brought to the forefront ... and I want to reflect that in this blog.  I want this to be a microcosm of America.  I want freedom.  I want variety.  And dammit I want disco and drugs.  Rick James can give us all of those things.  And more.

Here is why I believe (and why Blair should agree) that Rick James is a superior choice for reeling in people of all shapes and backgrounds:
  • He is beyond androgynous.  His hair is long, sometimes braided, often with sparkles ... yet he's a man.  Also, I'm pretty sure he owns more jewelry than me.  But again, a man.
  • He is unarguably African American, yet Super Freak is most often karaoked by drunk sequined white girls after last call.  Sexy time.
  • He's short, but wears boots and torso-lengthening jumpsuits.  Short and tall.  Both.
  • He's no longer alive (RIP) ... yet he lives on. Appeals to humans and ghouls alike.
  • He's done drugs.  Sure, that will most likely lead to some allegations and might not look great in a political race, but think of all those hilarious stories he can tell during debates and at executive meetings!  Everyone loves to laugh!!
  • CHARLIE MURPHY!  Not a reason, but also a reason.
I rest my case.

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